McDonalds Menu Song

As I was alphabetizing my dad's records in the guest room I ran across this little thing in a paper bag in a Scotland souvenir album.

In case you're too young to remember the 80's, many companies would promote giveaways in magazines and newspapers by using little thin records. McDonalds was perhaps the most well known company to use this great idea. They would record a little two to three minute long commercial for their product and make you listen to the whole thing to learn if you've won or not. Plus, kids LOVE'd it! Even though they knew they didn't win, young children would play the record over and over again. No matter how crappy McDonalds' food is, after the 10th time hearing it, wouldn't you want a Big Mac?

This specific record is circa late 1988 and on the back it actually reads in clear 10 point font, "The odds of winning: 1 in 80,000,000." Yeah, I lost.

It shouldn't be surprising the audio is so crappy considering it's thin plastic on cardboard.

Space Cadet - Remember the Future

I can't figure out if this is a joke or if they're completely serious. Dave Nichols and Chuck Cirino are Cinematographers/Directors. I don't know why they made this back in 1980 but I'm guessing - after seeing some of the other stuff they've made - they'll be perfectly happy to forget about this.

Paradise Garage - Tim Curry

I've been digging through some of my 80's stuff and decided it's time for this one. Tim Curry, who is kind of a genius in his own right, is one of those characters in pop-culture that goes his own way. Which way that may be is still unclear to me personally.

The 80's was a decade that seems to come full circle. I have the strong feeling this decade will be much like the 80's: The music sucks, clothing and hair styles are so asinine, and given a couple years politics will turn strongly to the right.

I'm a little high right now so please excuse me if none of this makes sense. All I know is Paradise Garage was a disco in the last 70's to early 80's, it possibly was a gay club, Tim Curry was in Rocky Horror Picture Show and this is generic late 70's early 80's cheese.

Uuh, you know what, I'm going to hit this little publish button, go to bed and try again a little later. Words of wisdom: Don't eat the green gummy bears!

Message In A Bottle - The Police

Okay, let me preface this by acknowledging and agree that The Police is an epic bands in Rock-n-Roll history and Sting is a brilliant singer/songwriter.

The beef I have with this song is two things and they're both to do with lyrics:

  1. The lyrical style is a bit too simplistic/subject to the era. One large problem with music from the 80's - and this one isn't any different - no matter how well the musical element of the song may be, the lyrical style reeks of the 80's: very "go-go, jump and do the happy dance" kind of vibe. College rock is much in the same vain. I know this song was released in 1979, you just have to remember this is The Police we're talking about; they were one of the leaders in pop-culture at the time.
  2. From 3:15 to the end, "Sending out an S.O.S". If you were like me today shopping when this song came on, you're going to carry it around with you for the rest of the day. My wife even stopped and said, "Is that the whole song?" This song would have been a lot better if they found a better way to end the song. After all, it's not a bad song. Ending the song like that is like a bad taste you have left in your mouth after eating a really good meal. This really is one problem The Police have with many of their songs.

Please don't hate me for this post. I don't really listen to them personally but The Police is a fine band.​​​

Rock Me Tonite - Billy Squier

There are times where I run across things like this and every time I do I feel thankful I only remember so much from the 80's. It really was a horrible decade for clothing, hair and music.

There really isn't anything about this song that jumps out at me. It's just simply corny, generic 80's fluff that more than deserves to be on this website.

Yeah, they can't all be pure gold.