Lou Bega - Mambo No. 5


If he was a woman, people would call him a slut. Because he's a guy and Latino, he makes a million dollars.

Doesn't seem right.

Los del Rio - Macarena

Wedding receptions and drunken family reunions haven't been the same since this disaster came out. Oh, how tragic it always is when a mind-numbing song comes with a obnoxious dance; it really becomes an insult to all the senses. I flat out refused to learn the Macarena. Not that there weren't people who fascistly tried to make me learn.

Thinking back, I recall people were even going to retirement homes forcing the elderly to dance. I never seen such a strange combination of joy, horror and hate.

My sister was around 10 when this song came out and she played it on loop, every day until she was 13. I still haven't forgiven my dad for getting her that cassette tape.

Aqua - Barbie Girl

If you haven't quite figured it out, I'm keeping myself busy installing the staples of music hell. There is so much terrible music out there, in the 90's alone, I will have my hands full catching up with the basics.

Just keep tuned. When I get the most obvious behind me, I'll be doing all I can to pull for the more obscure. That is the nature of the beast. I will try to mix it up as much as possible, but expect the next week or two to be, "Oh I remember that abortion of a song" kind of content.


Rihanna - Umbrella

My wife has always loved this song, yet she understood why I hated it so much. 

I decided to include this song mainly because of the very so call acclaim it achieved. How such a redundant song sung by such a nasal singer (whom I can only assume used the assistance of auto-tune) could gain such popularity demonstrates exactly why I put this website together.

Much like most songs by female performers for the past 10 years, it included a pecker-head rapper laying down a lyrical break to fill their own ego and to take up room from having to create a few seconds more of actual content. The lack of content would explain why the chorus includes the lyrics, "ella, ella, ella, a, a, a, a, a, a".

Back when this song came out it reached such a level of popularity "artists" who unbelievably had less talent and ability as Rihanna created remakes and covers. As horrible as the original was, I was amazed how much worse it could get.