Rappin' for Jesus

Happy Easter, everyone! 

It didn't take long to realize this is obviously some kind of joke: 2nd Church of Christ. According to their website they closed their doors in 2004 yet the domain wasn't registered till 2013. And why would a church's website in Iowa be registered to someone in Scottsdale​, Arizona? Lastly, an elderly white guy and his wife from the midwest has relatively solid old-school flow. That ain't normal.

Nonetheless, I love this video and its underlying message. And their DJ I like to call Mix Master Otis: He's a wiz with a smoke machine and Casio. I also find it enormously humorous how racially insecure white people love to fake outrage because they referred to Jesus Christ as their nigga and stuffed shirt Christians once it was revealed the video was a joke. (e.g.)

But you know, so what? Jesus died for us so we could be happy and enjoy our lives. So yeah, enough with the pissing contests. And no matter if He's black, white, brown or yellow, open your heart and let Jesus Christ be ya nigga. Cause no matter what, you'll always be His.

Poo Party - Poo2Loo.com, Unicef Campaign

Things like this reminds me on how I won the lottery of life; I entered life in a clean hospital, washed and wrapped in fresh linens and was driven home to a house with an operational toilet and running water. Didn't have cable though.... That's a real hardship *sarcasm*.

I understand what unicef is trying to do and I agree with the importance of their mission but perhaps using a dancing, lively poop emoticon could send the wrong message, if not flat out undercut their entire mission. How much do I have to donate to get a pooh plush? I'm sure I don't have to point out advertising to the youth to poop in a toilet, like some contemporary PSA, regardless the country, is beyond odd. Their methodology really is not good at all; I shouldn't be laughing my ass off on what in reality is a serious problem affecting millions of lives in a very negative way. Who exactly is their intended audience? And what's with the pledge? I'm left with the feeling they're throwing shit at a wall to see what sticks. 
(This is the second time in the last three earbleeds I used the shit wall expression. It really fits on this one, I'm sure we can all agree.)

Lets Get Social 2014

Oh great, a song with audience participation! What is this, an elementary school assembly about how to brush our teeth?

Take a selfie with your neighbor? This guy is the devil. And dear Lord, they actually did it. Oh sheeple, you suck. Just imagine the obscene number of duck faces this jackass unleashed onto the internet in that one single instance. One is unacceptable. This guy should be arraigned on terrorist charges.

Great, now he's a hype man. He even took a moment to dress himself up for the part. Turns out, in his head, a newsboy, Kangol cap and sunglasses he's owned since 1993 passes as urban. People like this guy calls my office all the time. He's a freakin' marketer! I freakin' knew the devil was a marketer!

Marketers can be very imaginative when it comes to selling a product but that imagination doesn't translate well to anything artistic. I mean, all he did was make a big ol list of words/activities used in social networking, strung them all together, got someone to put together a half-assed, cheesy beat for a cute girl to sing.

I have to say this about the guy: he is damn good at his job. This thing is an absolute piece of shit no one in their right mind should be spending any time on, yet here we are. It went viral.

DUH! - Corey Feldman

Corey Feldman managed to find a way to be visually monotone. I really don't know what he's trying to do here. It's like he's throwing all species of shit on a wall in the hopes eventually something sticks. He carries over his painful Michael Jackson shtick from his last abortion along with his love of chicks in sexy angel costumes. The other elements of fickle matter: Charlie Sheen (Duh!), a very bad and short-lived Eminem impression and, it could have been the white girl twerking, but I sensed some Miley Cyrus in there. Honestly, I can't form an opinion on this. At this point I simply feel bad for him.

#SELFIE - The Chainsmokers

There is exactly zero things this entails I care to know anything about. I never was part of or even interested in any kind of club scene. I've always considered myself too intelligent for bitchy prissy girls. Selfies started with the younger generation and, as far as I observe, the only good thing about it is it makes it easier to know which friends to avoid traveling with.

The most absolutely horrid thing about this song, rather than mocking it, it was created to celebrate the ego worshiping practice of the selfie. Really, by the end of the song, with all the horrible selfie pictures of horrible people (including a glasshole doing duckface), the generic electronica club music, the voices of those two high maintenance cum receptacles and hashtags peppered throughout, well, everything, it makes me hate technology. I'm now an IT who hates technology. I'm screwed!

Once again, thank you hipster douchebags for taking something wonderful and completely f--king it up for the rest of us. I hope your daddy's money runs out very soon.

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