Accidental Racist - Brad Paisley Feat. LL Cool J

Surely everyone has heard about this song already and how many are trying to make a controversy out of it.

Of course the gold is in the lyrics so let's get at 'er.....

"To the man that waited on me at the Starbucks down on Main, I hope you understand
When I put on that t-shirt, the only thing I meant to say is I'm a Skynyrd fan."

Oh, it's the contemporary redneck: He loves to hop off his horse, jump into his Ford pickup truck, do 55 on a dirt road into town so he can pick up his grande mocha cappuccino with extra foam. When I lived in the backwoods it was a 44 oz Dr. Pepper from a gas station but amazingly, that rings pretty damn true.

"I try to put myself in your shoes and that's a good place to begin
But it ain't like I can walk a mile in someone else's skin"

Of course he had to throw in this old cliché and put a fairly creepy twist on it. Empathy isn't really that hard of concept, is it? I can't stand that expression, personally. It's been so over used over the generations it has virtually lost all meaning. As far as I see it, one doesn't have to fully understand another's plight to care and feel empathy for them. 

"Our generation didn't start this nation
We're still pickin' up the pieces, walkin' on eggshells, fightin' over yesterday
And caught between southern pride and southern blame"

Now we're getting into the meat of this song. I'm pretty sure they wrote the entire song around these lyrics. And of course threw another cliché in there, "pickin' up the pieces". Um, yeah? Are we? I know what he's talking about but, actually no, I really don't. Yeah, there's been many, many, freakin' way too many years of total bullshit blacks had to put up with. Of course that sucked. I suppose I'm asking what's left needed to correct -last I checked our President is a black dude- and who's the ones doing the picking up?

And the last line: I get what he's talking about there, but man, what a stupid way to say it.

Okay, let's get to some of LL Cool J's lyrics.

"Dear Mr. White Man, I wish you understood
What the world is really like when you're livin' in the hood
Just because my pants are saggin' doesn't mean I'm up to no good
You should try to get to know me, I really wish you would"
"I'd love to buy you a beer, conversate and clear the air"

Oh dear my gracious Lord up in heaven...those tight rhymes...Understood-Hood-Good-Would. It doesn't end there: ...misunderstood, firewood, could, hoods, good (again). Then later on he rhymed beer with air. Some of his best work. 

Wait a second, LL! What exactly are you trying to say? Do you want me to believe all black people and only black people live in ghettos? I know an ass load of people who would disagree! Yeah, I'm reading in between the lines a bit but I sure as hell don't want to get into that whole socioeconomic issue. For now I think we'll be better off not to perpetuate that old stereotype, localizing blacks as being impoverished.

If LL's pants are still saggin', considering he's 45, I don't think it would be the worst thing if someone wishes to do at least a little bit of judging. I mean, I have a lot of respect for him, but come on man, latch that belt!

By the way, to answer your question, no, conversate isn't an actual word. He should have used the word converse.

Now, let's get to LL's best line in the whole song:

"If you don't judge my gold chains
I'll forget the iron chains"

Yes. Oh yes he did actually rhyme chains with chains. I'm not sure but I believe rhyming a word with itself is punishable in the supreme court of hip-hop law. He could very possibly lose his license to ill.

I have to say this is indeed my favorite line in the whole song for no other reason than how much it makes hypersensitive blogger cringe. White liberal intellectuals drenched with racial guilt to black Liberation Theologist professors who believe all white people are racist anyway are cussing LL from their self-constructed mountain tops. Oh, what a beautiful sound of anal bitching douche bags.

To conclude I was going to give a moderate sized rant about this whole issue but I don't think anyone gives a damn what I think. I'll just say that I believe that Brad Paisley and LL Cool J had nothing but the best of intentions when they made this little song. Oh, it's god awful and cheesier than the entire state of Wisconsin but their hearts were in the right place. It happens. And who knows? It's possible it'll start a positive discussion on the whole issue....but probably not.