Lets Get Social 2014

Oh great, a song with audience participation! What is this, an elementary school assembly about how to brush our teeth?

Take a selfie with your neighbor? This guy is the devil. And dear Lord, they actually did it. Oh sheeple, you suck. Just imagine the obscene number of duck faces this jackass unleashed onto the internet in that one single instance. One is unacceptable. This guy should be arraigned on terrorist charges.

Great, now he's a hype man. He even took a moment to dress himself up for the part. Turns out, in his head, a newsboy, Kangol cap and sunglasses he's owned since 1993 passes as urban. People like this guy calls my office all the time. He's a freakin' marketer! I freakin' knew the devil was a marketer!

Marketers can be very imaginative when it comes to selling a product but that imagination doesn't translate well to anything artistic. I mean, all he did was make a big ol list of words/activities used in social networking, strung them all together, got someone to put together a half-assed, cheesy beat for a cute girl to sing.

I have to say this about the guy: he is damn good at his job. This thing is an absolute piece of shit no one in their right mind should be spending any time on, yet here we are. It went viral.

Anyone who would actually want to attend a convention about social media marketing is someone I wouldn't want on my Facebook or twitter feed. A nice combination of middle-aged advertising professionals mixed with over energized early 20-somethings using buzz words far, far too frequently. Oh, and the glassholes! Will someone do something about all those glassholes!!!

I mean, yeah, stuff like the utilization of social media, SEO and net branding is important for businesses (I work for a newspaper so believe me, I get it) but spending all day talking about nothing but that stuff…….I'd much rather spend that time at the dentist. At least there I would have the gas to keep me occupied.