Brush Today - Jessica Williams

I'm at a loss for words. I'm guessing the mix master is the chubby kid with Bieber hair. At their age, they should have at least a concept of melody and beat. Even white kids. At least now we know the general demographic who call themselves Rebecca Black fans.

Sing it - Rebecca Black

I don't know if anyone cares anymore, but everyone's favorite vocalist to hate came out with yet another single. Over her four songs you can really hear a progression. She's really starting to find her own generic sound. Technology: what can't it do?

New Bibi Hendl 2011 - Takeo Ischi

I love nothing more than randomness and a Bavarian man of Asian descent yodeling like a chicken to a Euro-pop beat is a wonderful example. We've experienced some very strange stuff that came from the Orient here on earbleed.com: Most recently, Poetic Assassin and Nice Peace, along with this ear sore, an unusual energy drink commercial, a Lady Gaga cover, that bazaar yet considerably talented Korean cross dressing bass player, Pamyupamyu and this absolute disaster along a few others.

Of course this video is tame in comparison to many other things I've found over the years. It's actually pretty sweet, in a "this guy sure is having fun" kind of way. Naturally he reminds me of the Chicken Fiddler. One can only imagine how cute of couple they would make. I would wager, however, chickens would pick them to death in their sleep.

The Karate Rap

I took Taekwondo from around age seven to age 10. Back then I would have LOVED this video. That really isn't saying much though. Back in the 80's I had a toy that came with little buttons you put on different parts of your body and when pressed, each button would result in a cheesy "hip-hop sound". You know, like 'yo!', 'boom!' and 'wickity-wickity-wack!'.

Can't remember what it was called but it was like a body beat box kind of thing. And if I remember right, the box had a picture of a kid with these buttons on his wrists, ankles and upper torso. Of course he was wearing an early-80's, sudo-Michael Jackson netted shirt, baggy slacks, and brightly colors sneakers and trimmings, along with the 80's head band. The photo caught him in mid-stride right after hitting a button on his chest, going for one on his ankle.

According to the box, with this device I could make my own rap songs and beats while doing a dope dance at the same time! Played with it maybe twice before selling it in my mom's next -what had to be- bi-monthly yard sale.

Where was I going with this? Oh yeah. I'm now a grown man and can fully appreciate how 90% of everything that came out of the 80's was stupid and how stupid we all were back then.

He Drinks Tequila - Crystal Swing

These guys are living the dream. I know we've all at some point talk about going on tour, singing bad honky-tonk with our sister while our mother backs us up on keyboard, but who among us ever followed through with that dream? But seriously, I want these guys to play at our reception if/when my wife and I decide to renew our vows. 

The Satan Of Hell - The Black Satans

According to their facebook page, The Black Satans "is true Norwegian black metal from Finland" who "sold their souls to Timo Tolkki in order to get this piece of shit done." To me, they appear to be a less unique, less talented black metal version of Green Jellÿ. Whatever the case may be, they're sure fun to watch.

Walk Wit Mah Tits

We're talking about man boobs. 

Obesity has become a real problem in this country thus Kramer's Manzier is a product that can be profitable.

Girl Swag - Madison Bray

This has to be one of the more painful earbleeds I've come across in good while. The level awkwardness tweens bring to the table is staggering. I bring this video to everyone's attention with the hope we can all agree to put the word "swag" to bed. Hopefully we can all agree it's a terrible word no one should ever use again: much like words like ginormous and chillax.

3 Second Rule - Lisa Gail Allred

If I wasn't an experienced disk jockey of shit I would have found it hard to make it all the way through. Talk about ending a song on a sour note! This video doesn't only contain a woman's terrible singing voice, pathetic Paris Hiltonesque mannerisms, douchie acting, chilling electronically adjusted backup vocals and what has to be the worst line dancing I've ever seen, this video also includes the embodiment of sad. We're looking at a women who never become what she wish to be and we're viewing a women in the starts of an emotional deconstruction. In other words, a women in the grips of a specifically nasty mid-life crisis.

Guys also go through mid-life crises but all they do is buy sports cars, get hair plugs and/or penile implants, etc. Usually harmless stuff to inflate his dwindling ego. Given enough time he'll come to terms with his age and come to peace with the whole concept of his mortality. At the very worst, he would leave his wife for a 20-something.

If he's married to a makeup-covered, chronic plastic surgery patient, train wreck with a catcher's mitt face who believes she's a country-western star and polluting the Internet with her mess, one can't blame the man for seeking a breath of fresh air in a size 3.

It's pretty obvious what happen here. We have a mother who's children recently graduated school and left home. She's become bored with her added free time. Most women take up hobbies like quilting and do workshops to learn how to do things they never thought about doing before. That's what my mom did. My mom is half way normal. 

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