Oh Dear God, It's Tan Mom!!!

Produced by Adam Barta 

This is perhaps the most troubling thing I've seen a very long time. No one wants to see a 45-year-old woman (who looks over 60) with chronically damaged skin and meth face dancing in a bikini or hear her chain-smoking voice try to sing. It's like watching someone's mom (if not grandma) at the pool in a two piece trying to act cool and, even worse, attempting to reclaim her youth. It doesn't ever work and it's the number one cause of teen suicide, so please ma'am, stop it!

And no, we don't wanna see your goodies brown; we don't want to see them at all! They're not good and orange isn't the same color as brown. Besides, we already know what they look like.

Besides, we don't care about Tan Mom. No one wants to look at her, let alone hear anything from her. I don't even think anyone cared in the first place. She's a side-show act. Nothing more, nothing less. She's no different than the bearded lady or a chicken decapitating geek. As soon as she comes to that realization and get's help for her many dysfunctions the better she, not to mention her child, will be.

Speaking of her child, where is Tan Dad? I would have freakin' ran too but I would have taken the kid with me.

BTW, damn you, Adam Barta; you terrorist of audible destruction. He's becoming a real character and by character, of course I mean pain in the arse. First you bring us a horrible, homoerotic song about a guy's 13.5 inch penis and now this. He know's what he's doing. Adam knows.

It's Too Big! - Jonah Falcon & Adam Barta

He may have a 13.5 inch penis but the dude sure is goofy looking. Guys known for their junk always tend to be goofy looking. Weard....nonetheless, there are far more honorable things to be known for but who among us would mind being known as the guy with the world's largest penis? And of course it's easy to find a photo of him in spandex; just like a woman with large breasts, he has to show off what God gave 'em.

I see only three downsides: 1. discomfort and possible back problems 2. it'll limit the women one would be capable to have sex with (At some point, skin rips.) and 3. obviously such a large penis requires a horrible theme song.

Peanut Butter - RuPaul Feat. Big Freedia

We should have seen something like this coming and of course it would be so homoerotic. Yes, everything about this is terrible and men really have no business twerking but if you can't find the humor in this there is something wrong with you. A guy in booty shorts with his bollocks bouncing around? Classic funny.

Pussy - Lady

Haven't checked in a while so I was wondering if Lady came out with anything new and, happy day, she's has!

How funny is it she's advertising makeup at the end of this video? Someone at that cosmetic company seriously sucks at product placement.

But anyway, yeah, a song about her pussy. Who would have seen that one coming? No pun intended. I'm still waiting, or should I say fearing, the day when she actually puts that thing out for display. You don't have to pay too close of attention to notice she's letting her nips out there.

She says that her pussy is is good, that it's sweet and it's even good enough to eat. But later she mentioned she got that new pussy old pussy.... Explain that one to me. I imagine something like a 1984 Chevy Caprice with new pussy smell. No matter how good the condition it may be in that odometer done rolled over several times.

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