Not-so Sweet Child O' Mine

I haven't posted an earbleed in nearly two years, so yeah, maybe I've grown out of the mild psychological terrorism that is tormenting my family and friends with the worst music the internet has to offer. Nonetheless, I feel I'll never totally be above it, thus when DJ b, or I should be more specific, DJ b's dog "Sweetie" shared this abortion of a Guns 'N Roses cover, it felt my duty to pass it on. Yeah, Guns N' Roses isn't exactly on many top 10 best rock band lists and Axl Rose sounds like a cat getting raped by a weed wacker but they have given us some memorable, well constructed songs that deserves better than this poorly rehearsed mess. Seriously guys, find a key and stick with it.

Thanks for sharing, Sweetie. Good dog!

Best Friends - Sophia Grace

Think what we have here is evidence to the idea that parenting has become less of a requirement and more of suggestion. That and freakin' Ellen DeGeneres is the anti-Christ.

Doc G's HTC Anthem "Hold the Crown" w/ David Bruce

Allow me to start off by saying, yes, HTC makes quality phones. That's why I, coincidentally, bought one the day before this video went viral and I freakin' love it. HTC is the phone you buy if you want an LG but rather not spend as much money. And in this video they're correct on two fronts: iPhones freakin suck (this from a guy typing this entry using a MacBook Pro) and the Samsung Galaxy, no matter how awesome as it may be, is over priced.​ And don't even get me started on how rediculous I find the Galaxy Note. There's people actually driving while talking on those things. Terrifying!

The Christmas Jammies family Super Bowl video

"It's Sunday Night" The Holderness Family

Yep. The Christmas Jammies couple is back and they managed to become even more annoying with a Super Bowl themed video (Sponsored by Hidden Valley). They are "that couple". They're correct but I suspect not in the way they think.

Treat All Women With Respect - DaddyDaDa

This little song is really well intended but sadly "well intended" doesn't always equal good. 

I'm sitting here trying to figure out the actual value of DaddyDaDa's message. I mean, yes, violence of any form (physical, emotional, psychological, etc.) towards women and children is wrong. And yeah, women deserve our upmost respect; that's a no-brainer there. Most of us men learned this stuff from our parents at a very young age. And it's unlikely the minority who don't seem to understand this simple concept -those who kicked puppies as children- wouldn't listen to a clumsy rap from an aging lawyer in a leather jacket and backwards hat.

Maybe that'll be a better aim: bringing awareness of the importance of parents teaching their children this very essential value.

It's My Life What Ever I Wanna Do - Vennu Mallesh

Best line of the song: “I’m a very good bad boy.

He would have been well enough leaving it at that, but no, he had to tear off onto a tangent with lyrics like, “I am a brain eater” “I am a smart cheater” “I am a new sencer” whatever the hell that means and “I am a kids lover”.

Loving children doesn't always point to pedo material but mixed in with other rather odd, practically nonsensical phrases it causes one to be at least a little subjective. Let's continue on: Eventually the girl, who appears only to be involved out of love and/or fear, asks what he’s trying to convey. He answers, “Just leave everyone. Believe only one. If you don’t like one, live alone.” Okay, that’s not exactly the most sociable answer in the world. There is a fine line between an individualist and an antisocial hermit. Personally I'm guessing the latter, brought on from a history of voices of concern by family members and hired and/or state-provided professionals.

And almost like he wanted to accent an air of psychopathy, he ends with the somber words of, "Don’t believe me; I’m a true liar." In all actuality is about as good as his very good bad boy line; it's a logical liar paradox, like "This statement is false" or  to quote Henry Rollins, "I’ll lie again and again and keep lying. I promise."

Summertime is Great

Yes, it is summer time (close enough anyway) but no, it isn't great. This is what happens when hippies breed.

Rollin' (OKC) Thunder

I find it funny how people use the word, "parody" or "comedic" in the vain attempt to excuse their shittiness.

Being born, raised and living in Oklahoma, allow me to say Thunder fans are the worst. What else can I say? They're obnoxious. That pretty much covers it.

The Plastics - Toby Sheldon, Kitty Jay, Venus D’Lite Feat. Adam Barta

People and their money, right? 

These three are, without any incertitude, utter wastes of human lives. If “plastics” become a race -and some can argue they already have-, it will suddenly be okay to be racist. I say this in all seriousness: I would far rather shoot myself in the head than to be “one of them” as they insist is such a wonderful thing. I would live with having my face burned off with acid; at least there's still dignity in that. Being like these three: empty and detached, so removed from any concept of humanity and interpretation of reality, life would be void of any meaning. I suppose it shouldn’t be such a surprise they decided to spend thousands of dollars in the attempt to look like someone else because they hate who they are. Ironically, in that gleamingly obviously futile pursuit, they’ve done nothing but externalizes their internal ugliness. The more work they make to their appearance, the more their inner-ugly will show.

Lets Get Social 2014

Oh great, a song with audience participation! What is this, an elementary school assembly about how to brush our teeth?

Take a selfie with your neighbor? This guy is the devil. And dear Lord, they actually did it. Oh sheeple, you suck. Just imagine the obscene number of duck faces this jackass unleashed onto the internet in that one single instance. One is unacceptable. This guy should be arraigned on terrorist charges.

Great, now he's a hype man. He even took a moment to dress himself up for the part. Turns out, in his head, a newsboy, Kangol cap and sunglasses he's owned since 1993 passes as urban. People like this guy calls my office all the time. He's a freakin' marketer! I freakin' knew the devil was a marketer!

Marketers can be very imaginative when it comes to selling a product but that imagination doesn't translate well to anything artistic. I mean, all he did was make a big ol list of words/activities used in social networking, strung them all together, got someone to put together a half-assed, cheesy beat for a cute girl to sing.

I have to say this about the guy: he is damn good at his job. This thing is an absolute piece of shit no one in their right mind should be spending any time on, yet here we are. It went viral.