DUH! - Corey Feldman

Corey Feldman managed to find a way to be visually monotone. I really don't know what he's trying to do here. It's like he's throwing all species of shit on a wall in the hopes eventually something sticks. He carries over his painful Michael Jackson shtick from his last abortion along with his love of chicks in sexy angel costumes. The other elements of fickle matter: Charlie Sheen (Duh!), a very bad and short-lived Eminem impression and, it could have been the white girl twerking, but I sensed some Miley Cyrus in there. Honestly, I can't form an opinion on this. At this point I simply feel bad for him.

#SELFIE - The Chainsmokers

There is exactly zero things this entails I care to know anything about. I never was part of or even interested in any kind of club scene. I've always considered myself too intelligent for bitchy prissy girls. Selfies started with the younger generation and, as far as I observe, the only good thing about it is it makes it easier to know which friends to avoid traveling with.

The most absolutely horrid thing about this song, rather than mocking it, it was created to celebrate the ego worshiping practice of the selfie. Really, by the end of the song, with all the horrible selfie pictures of horrible people (including a glasshole doing duckface), the generic electronica club music, the voices of those two high maintenance cum receptacles and hashtags peppered throughout, well, everything, it makes me hate technology. I'm now an IT who hates technology. I'm screwed!

Once again, thank you hipster douchebags for taking something wonderful and completely f--king it up for the rest of us. I hope your daddy's money runs out very soon.

¿Y si Hacemos Un muñeco? Frozen Paraody

Via our International DJ, Merna, "Even if this is a parody that doesn't justify being out of key and out of tone. In case you're wondering what he's singing about, he/she is telling his/her "brother" if he wants to film a video with him/her, to which he refuses and leads her to call her friends. Not to mention that it is completely unfunny and painful to hear."

Don't forget completely painful to watch as well. He says it's meant as a cute little parody. It looks more to be an excuse to dress up like a girl. Nothing necessarily wrong with that within itself; just be honest about it, bud.

Hope you have/are having/had a great birthday, Mer!

Shush Up - Alison Gold

Alison Gold Shush It
Click here to view video on perezhilton.com

You may remember Alison Gold from her arguably racist, "Chinese Food" video. Well, she and the ARK Music Factory decided to go in a different direction. A different yet heavily trafficked direction as a poor facsimile of Lady Gaga. Seriously girl, what is this? 2010? The truly sad thing is with the Baby Gaga thing and double timing the whore paint, she'll find it very profitable. That is to say, of course, if they didn't take down her video. Whatever the case, she's one DUI and/or drug change away from untold fame.

On The Floor - IceJJFish

Near the end of the video you can tell the even girl just wants to get the f--k out of there. She start's having that "WTF did I get myself into?" look on her face.

Don't worry, I checked to make sure this guy didn't have some kind of stroke or anything. There's still the possibility he's deaf. If that's the case, sorry, like with Peggy Penny, that's no excuse. Frankly I have no idea what's going on here. There's no chance in hell he believes he sounds good and layering his vocals only exacerbates the problem.

My best guess is he's building himself his own preverbal field of dreams. Either that or he has the lowest standards of anyone I've come across in a while.

Take U Shopping - Ur Boy Bangs

Bangs is a rapper with a different concept: rather than objectifying and demeaning women, he decided to rap things girls would want to hear. Sounds like a great idea but it really isn't. If you ever had the misfortune of watching a guy try to pick up a woman, you know what I'm talking about. It's painful to watch not only because it's an awkward display but also because we're reminded that we're all equally as pitiful in that situation. 

Perhaps someone with greater talent will be able to pull it off. But still, naah, that's what R&B is for.

RAP Real Estate Agent San Diego - Rafael Perez

A rap about real estate is just as bad as it sounds. I listened to this thing four or five times trying to figure out what the hell he was talking about.

He started out talking about how great San Diego is a place to live. Okay, sure. No argument there.

Then he started talking about the mass foreclosures in the latter part of the noughties while showing a picture of Detroit.

From there he moved on to how the "rules of real estate are no longer the same" while showing more generic clipart.

At this point his quarter-assed rap really starts to fall apart. What the hell does "It's not about buy, hold, flip for rookies. It's about building a home or positive cash flow." suppose to mean? It's like he through in nonsense in the attempt to make a rhyme and missed dramatically. And then out of nowhere, a Martin Luther King Jr. quote. Really? I'm pretty sure MLK wasn't talking about buying & flipping homes in freakin' suburban San Diego. Suppose that was his attempt at appearing multicultural.

But anyway, then he moves on to financial planning which sputters out into a bunch of nonsense when he decided to attempt rapping again. "A place to raise the kids, or a cash flow machine." WTF is a cash flow machine? Apparently he's talking about rental property or going into the flipping business. An apparent reference back to the "home or positive cash flow" line.

#XmasJammies & A Little Seasonial Social Commentary

Think everyone has already came across this whole #XmasJammies thing and already grown sick of it. I like the idea of them mocking the vain practice that is the family Christmas letter and I congratulate them on how successfully their video went viral; one hell of a start for their new business. They seem like a wonderful couple with beautiful children and I haven't an ill word to say about them and I hope they have huge success in their new venture. I just hope their production videos aren't as admittedly asinine. I cringe at the idea my mom may reference their neighbor, "Are those Christmas jammies!?" Seeing we'll see her in a few days I so hope my mom, living out on a farm with no cable and a bad Internet connection, is the one person who hasn't seen this video. They're talking about selling their services for political use. Cheesy videos mixed with politics is prime for mockery but so painful, not worth the joke. Guess we'll find out here pretty soon.

Tila Tequila's Racist Rant Put to Bad Music

She has nearly 2 million likes on facebook which makes Tila Tequila the most popular Nazi alive and apparently she's really been chugging this poison-laced Kool-aid hard. She built a website back in July called anonymoustruthblog.com when facebook locked her account for 30 days. She posted a blog entry titled, "Facebook is Full of Shit".... it's pretty funny in a pathetic way. Obviously she hasn't a clue what the word "anonymous" means seeing she has her face, name and stuff about her plastered all over the website. Guess just like every Guy Fawkes mask wearing jackass, she simply likes the sound of the word.

She posted this video on her website saying she created it in her room in three minutes and urged her fans to make it go viral. Little over 45,000 views in two days 227 dislikes and disturbingly 171 likes. Compared to Rebecca Black's Saturday posted the day before is now at 13 million, not so viral.

Henrietta and Merna "Sing" Go Tell It On The Mountain

Long ago I was given the advice, when I'm feeling down or depressed I should listen to Christian hymns to raise my spirits. Generally sound advice but not absolute. Willie Nelson's Troublemaker is a fine example of how beautiful traditional hymns can sound and it's lifted me out of a funk many-o-time but Henrietta and Merna has likely caused countless numbers of teenage cases of depression. If you grew up in a small-town church, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

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