Lately - Billy Ray Cyrus Feat. Fred Durst

Things start off normal enough. You know, your typical contemporary Billy Ray performance, it's what it is. Then out of no where, in walks Fred Durst to screw everything up. Just like Andy Dick walking into a nightclub: it's all over.

Let Me Go - Avril Lavigne feat. Chad Kroeger

Remember my theory record executives are actively trying to make the shittist music possible just to see if they can still make it sell? Well, here's more evidence: Avril Lavigne teaming up with Chad Kroeger of Nickelback to make what has to be one of the blandest and forgettable songs of the year. Either that or they want to be the next Sonny & Cher.

Chinese Food - Alison Gold

As a general rule songs don't really need to serve any purpose; they don't need a profound message to be artistic. That being said, Patrice Wilson is about as artistic as a cardboard box. He's like a drunk who's hit rock bottom and made a moist ditch his home. Either that or he's actively trying to make a song worse than Friday.

Got to admire his entrepreneurial spirit though. Spend five minutes to write a shitty A.B.C. song, record a spoiled pre-teen singing it (with a nice thick layer of auto-tune of course) and shoot an equally inane video. Make thousands off their rich parents, then make even more from google adsense when it goes viral for how stupid it is. He's like an evil genius of pop music.

Good Time - Paris Hilton feat. Lil Wayne

I have one question: Is there a song by Paris that doesn't include partying or some kind of extravagant indulgence? I don't care to try to figure it out myself.

I'm still struggling with the concept we even know who Paris Hilton is and the concept she has one and working on a second album is driving me to the brink of insanity.....not a far trip, but nonetheless. The only thing that's keeping my sanity intact is the fact the only reason why she's so popular is because everyone needs someone they can make fun of without later feeling bad about themselves.

Wrecking Ball - Miley Cyrus

Wow, the intro has to be the most difficult part. It might be the bright red lipstick but there's something about her mouth that's so disgusting. And why she ever cut her hair to look like a lesbian who looks like Justin Bieber I will never understand.

I don't think people are freaking out about how overly gratuitous she's being in this video. All she did was ride a wrecking ball naked, lick a sledge hammer and roll around a bit in broken concrete blocks. I think what people are actually upset about is how hard she's trying to act sexy; notice how I used the verbs try and act in that last sentence. She's so bad at it, it's sad.