Ascension Millennium - Corey Feldman

Yeah, he's bit of an ass but I always liked Corey Feldman since Stand By Me. Not as much as River Phonix and like everyone else my very favorite character in the film was Lardass but he was good too. So much so to this day, when I think of 'em, I still think of his nutty character with a melted ear. Liked 'em in The Goonies as well but of course Chunk made that movie.

He's one former child actor who grew up without going batshit crazy, at least by today's standards. But who knows; maybe he decided to delay his psychosis till now and we're seeing the signs of a man about to start that tortuous journey to the rock bottom many former child actors typically experience in their 20's; 40 is the new 20 after all. A horrible auto-tuned, overly engineer pop song has pretty well become a right-of-passage for Hollywood fixtures himself; that's not the malfunction. Rather, the very fact he shot a video mimicking Michael Jackson is what I find very disturbing.

Ooh La La (From The Smurfs 2) - Britney Spears

So Britney is contributing to cartoon soundtracks now. To be fair, at least there's some dignity in that. I mean, she's a mother, she's not that young teen idol anymore and the whole diva thing never worked for her anyway. Her voice is continuingly becoming more and more computerized after every passing year; it doesn't even sound human at this point. One thing I didn't expect was how reserved she is with her movements. Her dancing was less dance and more posing. She moved like she was afraid of breaking a hip. If she hired someone to choreograph that video, I'd be asking for my money back.

The Fox - Ylvis

What's a fox say? A question easily answered after five seconds on google. That's really besides the point. My question is where is this forest full of furies? The Big Dipper also knows where to find it. Talk about a mystical forest I would greatly fear to happen on a dark, full moon-lit night.

Twerking Isn't Drunk White Girl Dancing (aka Miley Display)

6ward Dumaine - Crowd Mova Chrystal

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I find it amazingly mind blowing how the mainstream is referring to what Miley Cyrus was doing as Twerking. It wouldn't take a person more than a few minutes on youtube to discover that's incorrect, but rather, she was doing the drunk white girl grind; the constant pseudo-sexy tongue play would account for that. I consider it as journalistic laziness of an ignorant east coast elite, who once seen/heard of twerking and associated what she was doing with that.

Personally, I feel the best representation of twerking was illustrated by Lady and her crew. That being said, wow, there's some amazing examples here as well. Through the open sunroof had to be my favorite. Not being able to understand a single word Crowd Mova Crystal said, that's a great, raw touch; it really adds a nice layer of cheese to all that beef.

Neato - Three Loco

You always know you're about to witness something tragic when it has a long title introduction. Love it or hate it, it is what it is: hipster-hop. Kreayshawn must be so proud.

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