Mass Text - Tay Allyn

People are debating whether or not this song is some kind of jab at current pop-music, a joke of some sort, a parody of itself or simply just a really bad pop song. The description reads, "Tay has created a new breed of Pop that's like Ke$ha without the sex, and Gaga without the avant garde- what are you left with? Pop songs about the mundane issues you face in everyday life. It's sassy, fun, and RELATABLE." In that description they forgot intellectually insulting and ungodly repetitive. That happens when a song is void of any content. It even ends with the awkward, cheesy pre-teen movie kiss. All nonsense that's ripe for parody while at the same time sells like gangbusters.

And that's exactly my point: it doesn't really matter. The very fact people aren't sure is a real indictment of contemporary pop.<--break-> Just a few years ago people who listened to horrible music excused it by saying, "It got a good beat". That excuse doesn't work anymore. These days, people use the word "catchy". No matter what people like to to be diplomatic and optimistic. Whatever. Why not also say this pig of a song has a "wonderful personality"?

Gentleman - Psy

If South Korea wants us to protect them from their northern nut job neighbors, they sure have a funny way to show it.

Accidental Racist - Brad Paisley Feat. LL Cool J

Surely everyone has heard about this song already and how many are trying to make a controversy out of it.

Of course the gold is in the lyrics so let's get at 'er.....

"To the man that waited on me at the Starbucks down on Main, I hope you understand
When I put on that t-shirt, the only thing I meant to say is I'm a Skynyrd fan."

Oh, it's the contemporary redneck: He loves to hop off his horse, jump into his Ford pickup truck, do 55 on a dirt road into town so he can pick up his grande mocha cappuccino with extra foam. When I lived in the backwoods it was a 44 oz Dr. Pepper from a gas station but amazingly, that rings pretty damn true.

"I try to put myself in your shoes and that's a good place to begin
But it ain't like I can walk a mile in someone else's skin"

Of course he had to throw in this old cliché and put a fairly creepy twist on it. Empathy isn't really that hard of concept, is it? I can't stand that expression, personally. It's been so over used over the generations it has virtually lost all meaning. As far as I see it, one doesn't have to fully understand another's plight to care and feel empathy for them. 

Condom Style (Gangnam Style Parody PSA) - Cassidy

Okay, I'm about as Libertarian as they come but there should be some kind of law drawn up to forbid anyone to make stupid nonsense like this. And it's been pretty well established if I'm bluntly stopping to call something total rubbish that really means something. There is no excuse for anyone to utter the phrase, "stroke 'em condom style". My dad overheard Gangnam Style and thought Psy was singing, "Opp, opp condom style". That's how it should be; This song should be mistakenly understood by a guy in his mid-60's, not made into a freakin' half-baked PSA! Cassidy, do us all a favor and stay off the Internet. If we want royal sucking, we'll call up Soulja Boy.

All I Need Is Love - CeeLo Green Feat. The Muppets

CeeLo Green is terrible, that's common knowledge, but now I'm starting to believe he is also a terrible person.

I give him credit for one thing though: he is one hell of a capitalist. The way he managed to become famous from a terrible song, produce complete shit and get progressively worse as time ticks on, yet he still manages to makes millions. It's quite inspirational, really.

And don't worry kids, speaking of capitalism and being a terrible person, you can purchase his new Christmas album on iTunes