Last Night (I Wanna Bang You) - Paris Hilton feat. Lil Wayne

Paris Hilton featuring Lil Wayne. One doesn't even have to hear the song to know fully well it sucks. If you'd like to save your ears allow me to describe it. It's Paris' usual porn-styled vanity with Lil Wayne's sexual puns (i.e. I wanna be in Paris.) in the rap break and it's topped off with a heavy layer of ecstasy induced dance music. It's exactly what you would expect with Paris being the least inspired, least original person on the planet teaming up with the least tactful rapper next to Soulja Boy.

Hmm, on that thought, I gotta give Paris credit for not going with Soulja Boy. Who knows? Maybe she asked but he was too busy masturbating to girl scouts.

Follow The Leader - Wisin & Yandel feat. Jennifer Lopez

In case you forgot like I have, J-Lo became famous as a vocalist. Seems like more people these days know her for American Idol and her over-sized butt. Perhaps that route is the best direction for her. In fact, she needs a reality show. If the Kardashians have their own show(s), it only comes to reason people would want to keep up with the Lopez's. Not to say she's a bad vocalist, she's just a very forgettable vocalist and everyone remembers her sex tape.

It's Thanksgiving - Nicole Westbrook

Patrice Wilson at the Ark Music Factory is at it again. After the backlash from the horrible song writing of Rebecca Black's "Friday" one would think they would put a little more effort in their songs. But no, in fact they took the sudo-educational lyrical style (e.g. Tomorrow is Saturday and Sunday comes afterwards) and put it right in the sub-chorus: "December was Christmas, January was New Year, April was Easter and the forth of July. Now it's Thanksgiving!"
 
They did mix it up a bit this time. Rather than Patrice himself doing the rap break, he left the liberty to Nicole. Frankly, I don't know which is worse.
 
To be fair I have to say, at least after the nasal vocal stylings of Rebecca Black, Nicole has a decent voice. I can't say she's right for solo work; She has the kind of voice that would sit nicely in a Christmas children's choir at your local Methodist Church. It's hard to say for sure though: This is AMF after all thus her voice is hidden in a deep glossing of auto tune. And perhaps it's all a relative kind of thing.

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together - Taylor Swift

Before anything else, WTF is a furry doing with Bo Diddley's guitar?

Taylor Swift is one of those people I actively try to ignore. The last time I checked she was still country. Now she's a little pop star wearing hipster glasses and dorky pajamas. Okay but why did she need to go the Carly Rae Jepsen route? Hmm, thinking out loud, I guess that's what's selling these days. Please no one tell Madonna!!!

I'll go as far as to believe her band is in fact comprised entirely of furries, even though her lap steel guitarist obviously has no idea how it works. Aah well, that doesn't matter in pop music just as long as you look cute, cool and/or witty.

Crayon - G-Dragon

Obviously over there in Korea, words like "swag" and "gangsta" don't translate very well.

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