Sexy Party - Octomom, Nadya Suleman

The Octomom: she started as an abomination of science, to a reality star, to porn star and now she's giving a musical career a go. I remember a time when porn was rock bottom, guess now it's dance music. I can't believe the government hasn't taken her kids yet.

Finally Getting Up From Rock Bottom - Farrah Abraham

Another completely useless and talentless fake celebrity who wants to branch out into music. It's getting really old at this point. Watching these wannabe starlets breaking into a musical career is like watching a bird fly into a window over and over again, never figuring it out until it falls dead of a broken neck. It's funny at first, then it becomes pretty sad but now it's just annoying.

I never understood the show Teen Mom. 1. Why would any self-respecting parent allow their teenager be exploited, putting their family's dirty laundry on national TV? and 2. Culturally speaking, how can this crap be good for anyone? It's both depravity and voyeurism......but surely, again, I'm stating the obvious. No one is learning anything other than how dumb our youth is becoming. There are girls actually getting knocked up so they can be on Teen Mom. 

We have a real problem with faux-celebritism in this country; it's like some people believe it's a constitutional right to be famous and on national TV. I don't know, maybe they're right: the only prerequisite being the total lack of good judgment, no sense of dignity or, for the very least, a public display of absolute, unexplainable stupidity. Above anything else, modern MTV pop-culture is a strong argument for home-schooling.

Lana Del Rey Covers Nirvana's Heart-Shaped Box

Why does every insufferable tart see the need to sing a Nirvana cover? It's especially bad when they find the need to try making something deep out of the song.....oh you sooooo put your soul into it! You were seven!!! When Miley Cyrus sang "Smells Like Teen Spirit" she said she grew up listening to her older brother's music and it "inspirited" her. I'm sure Lana Del Ray would say much the same thing. It is a popular to look back to music from the previous generation, because it seems like, no matter the year, music was better 10 years ago.

I don't necessarily believe that: music from the 40's was better than the 50's but music from the 50's wasn't as good as music from the 60's. You can do the same thing with the 70's, 80's and 90's. Kurt once said -and I'm paraphrasing- there are only around five great bands that comes out of every decade. I think that's close to the truth. Music only seems better 10 years ago because all that music has been ran through a filter and filth like Miley Cyrus and Lana Del Ray has been filtered out.

Sippin' On Sunshine - Ashland High

Parents, how would you love for your little girl to bring home a winner like this guy? You can't entirely blame him for looking like such a douche; his parents gave him the name Trace. I don't really have anything against people getting tattoos -your body, your choice- but, call it a social faux pas if you wish, if you have tattoos covering your entire upper body including face tattoos, you can't act shocked when people look at you funny or treat you like a criminal.

If you look like a hipster Tommy Lee on meth why choose pop? My guess is he hasn't even the slightest shred of musical talent. If Miley Cyrus is the talented child in that family, this would be the best explanation I could consider. Besides, auto-tune would sound terrible with heavy metal or punk.

Rihanna (That's My Attitude) - Flo Rida

Wow this is really bad.....even by Flo Rida standards. Whoever thought it'd be a good idea to have a smurf voice repeat "Rihanna" throughout the entire song has to be a complete idiot. It's amazing though. Rihanna doesn't even have to be directly involved whatsoever to make something even less listenable.