LG Mobile "The Play" Commercial

Via Komar & Melamid's 1995 research in their attempt of making the least wanted song, children singing is one of the least desirable elements in music. Obviously LG didn't take their findings in consideration. One would think, however, the very fact this kid's singing sounds like an injured cat in heat they would have been able to come to that conclusion themselves. Guess they feel they know better.

After a bit of looking around I found it is in fact a 28-year-old woman named Joanna Newsom. My mistake but she does sound like a 10-year-old boy. . . So does mc chris so take what you wish from this commentary.

Jersey Shore's The Situation Rap

This is the biggest pile of crap I've heard since this morning when I posted Jersey Shore's Angelina Rap.

The commentary for this entry could simply be copied and pasted from Angelina's. It all comes down to the epic flaw saying, "just because you can do something doesn't mean you should." And I would like to add, "and if you with to continue, don't be shocked when people make fun of you."

Jersey Shore's Angelina Rap

I don't think this can be considered rap. With rap the vocalist at least has an attempt at keeping with tempo. This is more ranting to a hip-hop beat. How is this any different from their actual show? Less tanning and "smooching"?

I can't see how she ever thought for a second there's anything good about this! She must have the worst friends ever! Hell, I'm not an MC and I can spit lyrics better than this crap! After all, I too have GarageBand. Nonetheless -and this is her fatal flaw- just because you can do something doesn't mean you should.

We "diss" because you suck and something tells me you like the heat; otherwise you would have got out of the kitchen long ago.

Moley - Jamster

When Jamster started making these stupid commercials around 10 years ago I felt something this stupid surely can't last very long. I remember the first POS of theirs I've seen was that annoying frog. I don't know what I hate more about Jamster. Is it for the fact everything they make is chronically high pitched, they're cheating the crap out of stupid people, or this has to be the about as uninspired as Rihanna? I say yes!

I know there isn't much musical content to critique but wait in line at Wal-Mart behind some fat hippo with this as her ringtone. As you're standing in line, being forced to listen as it repeats for the fifth time as she searches her folds of blubber for her Nokia, you'll understand where I'm coming from.

Bullet Train - Choo Choo Soul

Sorry for the abrupt ending. My DVR cut the recording a few seconds early. Something tells me we didn't miss out on anything.

I remember when I was a kid children music sucked but at least Raffi didn't repeat a short verse over and over again and call it a song. I don't like agreeing with eugenics but maybe we are becoming dumber as a society. In the very last, our children don't have half the attention span of the last generation. I however like to end on an optimistic tone; I'm simply going to believe everything made from Disney is complete garbage.

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