Early Naughties Pier 1 Imports Employee Training Rap

Imagine being a guy in his mid-40's, starving so badly for a job he decides to work at a Pier 1 till he's able to get back on his feet again. Having to work retail in a strip mall franchise with snarky liberal arts majors would be difficult enough without having to first sit down to watch an intellectually insulting piece of crap like this.

Shots - LMFAO feat. Lil Jon

So let me get this straight: You're telling me the only way you can talk a women into doing anything sexual with you is after she's fed a long series of hard liquor? That has to be the first time LMFAO has ever screamed anything truthful. Cause, boy, you sure as hell ain't sexy……and you know that for damn sure!

My Ass - Linni Meister

I don't really know anything about Linni, but if this video is any indication I would guess she's Norway's Snooki. It'll make sense a Scandinavian Snooki would be sexier than the original........not that's saying much.

Beautiful Bomb - Reckless Love

Here's a phrase I wished I'd never have the misfortune to write: Contemporary Glam Metal band. Finland, I love you guys, but come on!

It doesn't take much time to realize these guys' sound is more glam pop-rock than metal. They sound like a combination between an old-school, late-80's glam band and any generic boy band. Kind of like Jonas Brothers meet Whitesnake

This is very disturbing. Of course, like in all the old-school videos they include a blond bombshell in their video.......never mind she's pushing 40. It's very predictable: near the beginning of the video she's shown painting "Reckless Love" on a bomb in lipstick. It's beyond obvious by the end of the video she's going to be riding that thing. The most disturbing part of this video is there's, one after the other, close up shots of the girl and the lead singer. After a while it becomes hard to tell them apart. And, a guy wearing makeup and a sequin blouse while riding a motorcycle sends mixed messages....although I'm sure there are bars all across the country where that very scene can be reenacted.

Touch My Bum - The Cheeky Girls

It's common knowledge in the world of marketing that sex sells. But help me out; I suck at marketing. Even though they're using sex and I'm a heterosexual guy, why don't I wish to buy this?

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