Waterline - Jedward

When was the last time you had your Jedward fix? I'm sure it hasn't been long enough. In case you've never heard of these kids who look like something between Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga and Elton John, they gained some attention when they performed for President Obama when he visited Britain. They performed this song at Eurovision and for the past few months, in waves, Eurovision has been polluting my Google Alerts.

Usually I try to ignore everything Eurovision because, well, if I talked about every bad song that's coming from it, all of a sudden this entire website would be dedicated to Eurovision. Very much like The Voice and American Idol: Some things are better off left to humiliate themselves. And frankly, there is only so much I can handle.

Rágógumi - Zsófi

I'm sure you've figured it out by now. Rágógumi is Hungarian for bubblegum. It's amazing. No matter how terrible this happens to be, it's not as bad as the original. Between these two videos it's become painfully clear both of these songs are about an oral fixation. The double entendre, especially in this video, is unmistakable but take from that as you wish.

Pretty Girls Can't Sing

Singing Show Me Your Love by Ukrainian pop-star Tina Karol

I have the feeling this isn't a talent show but rather a beauty pageant. I've been to enough beauty pageants to know fully well how no one wants to tell the pretty girl she can't sing. No matter how sexist it may sound, sometimes the only talent some pretty girls have is being pretty....and, well, let's not get into how else they may excel. Let's just say there's a town in California ripe full of these girls, many of which with daddy abandonment issues.

Idemo u Hollywood - Sandra Dabo

Who's mom has been let out of the mental institution? One can always tell when a woman is reaching outside her element by, among other things, how frequently she uses duck face. Combined with a way too low cut white blouse with a black bra underneath, this is a real horror show. Damn this guy encouraging her on.

On a side note, what kind of mental public access show has a painting of a shirtless guy sporting a powerful mullet in the background? WTF is going on here?

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