Not that I'm a fan by any means (a slightly lesser evil kind of thing) but I give this to Mitt Romney. I know you're looking for ways to send Santorum packing. With all the homoerotic imagery, the soviet symbolism and all round international sound, this would cause ol' Rick to run screaming like a little girl.
I have found a fair amount of super gay stuff. What what in the butt, for example. But I think Azis will do the job sufficiently. Here's another one of his.