Attention - Scarlett Santana

Of course her name isn't really Scarlett Santana; That would be silly! Her actual name, actually given to her by her parents, is Jasmine Mercedes. Considering she started her life with a stripper name I have to say she's doing pretty well for herself. I mean, sure, she would be able to make far more money on the pole but nonetheless.

I specifically hate songs like this. These egotistical songs. Heard one, you heard them all. There's usually something about partying in one context or another and there's always bragging about appearance, skill and most of the time (either implied or blunt), sexual ability. I'm actually shocked she didn't have a "Bet you wish your girlfriend was hot like me" kind of line in there anywhere. Oh, no wait, I double checked, there is: "In my high heels and my short skirt who won come test me? Run up and get your feeling hurt."

Mmm, what lovely lyrics. No wonder she's credited as being a poet....

I Not Bitch, I Wanna Be Rich - Nicky

It's self-evident Nicky hasn't know English for very long. It's quite obvious, however, she's already learned the term, "Gold digger".

Did she say, "I have big tits and I like phony dicks"? I know earlier she said, "and get old rich boy to happy end". "Don't wanna work I wanna eat pork" was a good line too. And given the chorus I'm forced to believe the name of this song is, "I not bitch, I wanna be rich."  Can't understand much of anything else...something about Obama maybe...We really need a lyric sheet. 

Pop That Remix - Lil Poopy

I find it hard to believe in a society of our reality TV trash this 9-year-old's display is being denigrated, called overtly shocking and exploitive. What else do you expect? We live in a society where stupidity and laziness is rewarded while ingenuity, risk and hard work is punished and words like honor and dignity is no longer in our vernacular.

The Funky Fresh Senior Choir

There needs to be someone to kill songs that lived long after they've become stale. The Funky Fresh Senior Choir (ironic name on so many levels) is perfect to facilitate this need. Evidently this group is no longer together, at least their website is no longer valid. It's a shame, really. It would be nice to know a little more about this group; why their leader felt this was a good idea, where they're from and, most of all, so they can continue to kill terrible songs.

And come on, surely I'm not the only one who would like to see them attempt the Gangnam Style dance. May end in a few broken hips and shattered knees and elbows but it'd be funny there for a while.

Spartan High School Styl Gangnam Style Parody

Gangnam Style is perhaps the worst thing that has come out of 2012. Not because of the absurdity of the song (and dance) itself, but rather, for all the hatchet jobs by little pissants with less than no talent and untold amount of time. I easily could create an entire category covering horrid covers but it would fill up so quickly everything else will be lost among that distortion...which is why I hold sharing remakes/parodies in strict reserve.

I will never, ever understand the popularity of Psy and his stupid song. What is clear, however, high school students -with their embarrassing chroma key skills, not to mention their nonexistent concept of audio production and what a beat is.....hell, they can't even manage to properly cut and queue a sample- need to be kept away from video and audio editing software, or for the very least, YouTube. Having the access to modern technology doesn't mean everyone needs to use it. Like my mother said on many occasions when my siblings and I were younger, "this is why we can't have nice things!"

Party @ Ur House - Thamys

I suspect this girl watched Double Take's videos and said, "I can do that!" Well, somehow she managed to suck more than them.....no pun intended. She doesn't even know how to work auto-tune correctly. Even if you suck at singing, while under auto-tune you still have to try using some kind of a tone. Spoken word doesn't auto-tune so well.

I don't know anything about this girl but I don't think we've seen the last of her. At least I hope not. There's so much going on here I'm at a loss.

Stupid Stupid - Alex Day

Not everyone enjoys spending time with their extended family but why make a Christmas song calling everyone in one's family stupid? The only family who could possibly consider this as some kind of affection would be Honey Boo Boo's and even then it could still result with a well understandable wallop to the side of the head.

On a side note, why does this kid remind me of Rick from The Young Ones? Maybe it's the way he says "stupid".

Krispy Kreme - Christmas

Krispy Kreme!!!

Okay, so he started the whole thing out rhyming figure with figure, I still say this'll prove to be the the best Christmas song all year. I couldn't help but to think he would have a new bike somewhere on his list since his was stolen.

MC Kreme, I'm a fan but WTF is with you and John Cena? Seriously. It borders on disturbing. And yeah, Money Maker Mike, those are some sick kicks. Rockin' em' old school.

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